My friend, we have searched high and low for you, but to no avail. I sadly leave this note in the hopes that we will reunite once again.
I cannot help, however, but to chastise you for not trusting in my ingenuity and care of you. I cannot help but feel that you did not trust me (I understand why you wouldn’t trust these other fools; they don’t share the connection we share). I cannot, in the end, help but feel abandoned.
Nevertheless, I will soldier on, as they say. And, in those sad hours when I miss your gloopy presence, I will think on all that we have shared. I will remember the grell-gloo, with fondness. I will remember our mutual distaste for Fenrick’s pretensions. I will remember the way you made that fish wiggle inside yourself after I had fed it to you.
Indeed, I will cherish these memories.
Still, I hold out hope that we will reunite again. And then, may we endeavor to create more edifices to our friendship (in the form, of course, of actual edifices, made of our slain enemies). But until then: I wish the best for you and your adventures. And may your mace always strike true!
P.S. I have a sweet, waterproof tub, with your name engraved in gold, waiting for you.